1-6 record, contract year, 33% career winning record, tough upcoming schedule - the planets are aligning people.

SO now is time to get creative describe his coaching demise:


When

and

under what circumstances


I am going to have a think and post when I am a little more coherent.

Okay it goes down like this.....ya ready?


Mcfail calls dimwit into the ofice like this "yo dimwit get in here we gotta chat before i go out n buy another ugly sweater n take mcfoy to tennis." So witman downs another shot n some malox because his ulcer is acting up again. Hes thinking god i dont know what to do i know i cant coach some place called twolves blog keeps bitching about me n i swear my wife is seeing Craig Smith but i wish i could catch them in action his ass would be benched for life .. Yet god i hope i get fired that way i can quit coaching n go back to selling used cars... He gets to Mcfails door knocks , the dumb Gm barks at him to come in. Mcfail lites a cheap stogie n says ' dude, ive been getting my ass reamed on talk radios the fans call me numbnuts n one fan wants to tip over my boat n another wants to lock me in the trunk of their Geo. I meen your not the total problem i know im a f*** up but lets face it i aint goin anywhere n some day my boy mccants is gunna be coach so clean out your locker, oh ya Craig Smith has been f***in your wife." So dimwit smiles n walks out thinking good grief let that asshole coach this sucky team. So he downs his johny black n goes home kix his w*****g wife out n gets laid by pickin up a college hotty

n mcfail back in his office hires Candy Man to be the new coach thinking hellz ya this guy is a major winner

just saying with mcfail in charge the next coach mite suck more

You turn off the TV after another devastating loss. It is all getting to be too much to bare.

If you want to pull the plug on the Wittman coaching tenor Turn to page 37.

If you want to give an ultimatum to Wittman, McHale, every other bumbler in the Wolves organization and to the press saying he/they have until the All-Star break to turn this team around or you are blowing things up Turn to Page 3.

If you want to curl into the fetal position and suckle at your own tit while letting the coaching go on as it is Turn to Page 98.

---

98

You step onto the concourse to board your plane to Bora Bora....

Mad_Dog04 wrote:
WAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow. Mad Dawg, you have done it again. I could barely contain my laughter at my desk. That Craig Smith thing really got me for some reason. Bravo, Bravo!

Howl for you Mad_Dog, that was awesome! HAHAHAHHA

I'll try to be realistic.

IF they'll fire him it'll be way too late to surpass the 22-win mark. They'll be "giving him time" until they realise it's hopeless.

I will admit it Maddog, I was REALLY laughing too.

I dunno why that was sooo funny, but it sure was!!!

Here's mine:

McHale is going to remain on the payroll whether he coaches or not so management decides to find another job for him. Someone comes up with the idea of giving Crunch a Mom. Think of the antics that will ensue with Crunch and his Mom performing all kinds of sight gags! Attendance could skyrocket!

After a 4-16 start, Glen Taylor finally says "enough!" and demands McHale fires Wittman. He makes McHale coach the team as well. Well by the time the all-star break comes around, we are 10-38, and Taylor blows up and fires McHale as well, and appoints himself as the GM and coach. During the 71st game, on the backside of a west-coast back to back, McCants & Taylor get so fed up with each other that they actually start wrestling, which pours into the stands. David Stern suspends them both for the rest of the year, causing Mad Dawg to be our player/coach for the last 11 games. After going 19-52 in our first 71 games, we go 7-4 with the Dawg at the helm. However, this embarasses David Stern, so during off-season meetings an official rule is made that player/coaches are outlawed, as well as owner/coaches.

Howl for maddog

BonK wrote:

Player/coaches already are outlawed. I would presume that owner/coaches are as well.

Too bad, I'd love to have the Dawg be our player/coach. I wonder if he'd even put himself in? Probably not for very long... but that wouldn't matter because I think he could win some games.

It's January 2 and Minnesota have just been beaten in double overtime by Golden State to slump to 5-27.

Randy Wittman, gaunt and pensive, has been summoned to the office of Glen Taylor.

"Randy, sit down"

<Randy sits>

"Randy, we suck. Don't we, Randy?"

"Well, I guess....."

"You guess! 5-27 and you're relying on guesswork and supposition?"

<Randy Whimpers>

"This can't go on. I think we need to go in different directions. It's not me, it's you"

"But...."

"it's too late for buts...."

"There are things I haven't tried! I could Kevin Love minutes when the game is in the balance, I could play Collins..... I STILL HAVE CAL BOOTHHHHH!"

"OJ Mayo got 47 points here the other night for heaven's sake"

"I know, I know.........sob....."

"I'm gonna have to pay you out....."

"Give me one more chance....I can make smallball smaller......Kevin Ollie can play power forward......Kevin has been talking about getting Marbury back.......IT CAN WORK!!!"

"No, Randy, it can't......"

<Fades to Black>

AusWolf wrote:

HAHAHAHAHAHA That made me laugh out loud! Howl to you!

You guys need to pick up a Choose Your Own Adventure book badly because you are not being in any way true to the genre.

There is really only one rule...

1. The reader is the person in the story. So you need to write as if you are Glen Taylor or Kevin McHale.

For example...

"
It is the latest biggest day of your life. You've been trying hard to put veterans around the Big Ticket and you are so close. Today everyone expects you to grade Josh Howard who was a jack of all trades in college. Is consensus correct or do you have a jack up your sleeve.

If you decide to play it safe and choose Josh Howard link to here

IF you decide to swing for the fences and who you believe might be the next Kevin Garnett click here
"

See how "you" are Kevin McHale...

Top marks to The Abominable Snowman which I read to my son last week.

BTW I promise a howl to anyone who can write from the perspective of McFoyo effectively.

You are McFoyo.


Glen Taylor calls you into his office.

Glen: "Hey Foye and McCloud, what do you guys think of Wittman? Can he win in the NBA as coach?"

Randy: "Of course, as long as I am starting PG."

Rashad: "#$@( No!"

Glen: "Well what do you guys suggest we do? Do we keep him on? Do you like any other coaches?"

Randy: "As long as he puts me back in as starting PG I say we keep him!"

Rashad: "Fire his ass!"

Glen: "Well Rashaard, who would you suggest we hire?"

Rashad: "Someone that will give me free reign to shoot as much as I want. How about Dean Smith?"

Glen: "I don't think that's possible. C'mon Rasheed let's be serious."

Rashad: "My name is Rashad McCants you dolt!"


A fistfight ensues... since you are McFoyo, what do you do next?

- If you try to beat the snot out of Glen Taylor, turn to page 27.

- If you jump in and try to stop Rashad from beating up the decrepit old Glen Taylor, turn to page 43.

- If you stop the fight and campaign for Glen to keep Wittman, turn to page 61.

- If you all get drunk together and brainstorm for potential new coaches, turn to page 87.

CW - FAIL

CYOA isn't a play and McFoyo happens to be one entity for the purposes of this exercise.

"No Howl for you." - Choose Your Own Adventure Nazi

That said... I'll continue your story

---

Page 87

You are shooting 3's at the target center all alone. Your usually steady stream of makes (in practice) isn't so steady after your 9th shot of Jim Beam and the janitor seems to be giving you dirty looks. You never liked that guy after he rolled his eyes at the idea that you'd have made the all-star game last year had you been healthy when Deron Williams did not. He also once ran his mouth about Khole not being the sister with the hottest @$$ (though he did admit he would hit that). You digress....

Did you hear a door shut? Is that Witt coming to tell you SG/PG hasn't worked and they are going to try small ball with you at SF? Wait a second... either you've had more Jim Beam than you think or that is Jeff Van Gundy.

You say "hells yeah" and go give him a pound Turn to Page 13

You assume a competent coach will ship you out of town so you take desperate measures Turn to Page 65