I want my MTW wrote:
Funny stuff by the Basketball Jones:
"Kevin Garnett is pretty bad at nicknames
Posted by Trey Kerby under Boston Celtics, Kevin Garnett, Nicknames on Oct 09, 2012
Kevin Garnett is good at a lot of things. Defense, rebounding, trash talking, playing with enigmatic point guards during various stages of their career, intimidating smaller European players, screaming — you name it and Kevin Garnett has probably done in in the NBA, and done it well.
But no one can be good at literally everything when it comes to the NBA. That just wouldn’t be fair. Even Michael Jordan wasn’t a great three-point shooter. So it should come as no surprise that there is something that Kevin Garnett is bad at in this league of ours. It’s just maybe a surprise that that thing is giving nicknames to rookies.
From CSNNE.com’s Jessica Camerato:
Fab Melo: “The Youngin. [He calls] everybody Youngin. Oh, and Melo. He calls me by my last name . . . He never calls me Fab. I don’t really care about that stuff. In Brazil, we don’t care. We call first name, last name, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t mind.”
Dionte Christmas: “He called me Temple (Christmas’ alma mater, Temple University). It was cool, it was alright. I respect it.”
Jared Sullinger: “Youngin.”
Jamar Smith: “He calls me something different every day – Young Fella, Youngin, ‘A.’ [He called me 'A' because] he thinks so fast, he’s always talking. He calls everybody all kind of names. He hasn’t called me by my first name yet. He knows my name. When we’re talking, when we’re in the locker room, he’ll be like, ‘Smith!’ But for the most part on the court, Youngin and Young Fella.”
Kris Joseph: “Rook, Young Fella, Youngin, three names. I’m assuming he knows my name, but those are the three names he does call me.”
There are six rookies on the Celtics’ training camp roster and four of them are called “Youngin” or something like that. One is nicknamed after where he went to college and the other is “Micah Downs” who might be made-up but would still probably be called “Youngin.” That is not very good nicknaming from one of the league’s elder statesmen.
And while it might seem weird that a guy who’s been around the NBA for 17 seasons would be basically clueless about nicknames, consider what Kevin Garnett’s been called in his career — “Da Kid,” “The Big Ticket” and “KG.” Even he hasn’t had a very good nickname. It’s a vicious cycle.
In fact, it’s so vicious that the odds are that you can guess Garnett’s various nicknames for his teammates. What follows is a list of Kevin Garnett approved nicknames for his teammates, as extrapolated from his rookie monikers.
Brandon Bass: “Sorta Youngin.”
Avery Bradley: “Kinda Youngin.”
Jason Collins: “Twin Middle Ager.”
Jeff Green: “Former Youngin.”
Rob Kurz: “Bob.”
Courtney Lee: “Older Than You’d Thinkin.”
Darko Milicic: “Yell Face.”
Paul Pierce: “The Truth.”
Rajon Rondo: “Not-so-Youngin.”
Jason Terry: “Surprisingly Olden.”
Chris Wilcox: “Small Head.”
As you can see, he’s just not great at coming up with nicknames. Great at everything else, no doubt, but nicknames are tough. Here’s hoping Jason Terry has some better ideas because this could be a long season for all these first-year guys trying to figure out who Kevin Garnett is talking to."
"Kevin Garnett explains his terrible nicknames
Posted by Trey Kerby under Boston Celtics, Nicknames on Oct 15, 2012
Nicknames are hard, you guys. Even “Durantula,” a seemingly perfect nickname that was popularized by a Canadian basketball podcast, has encountered way more trouble than necessary. For whatever reason, coming up with a new something something to call a player for the rest of his career is almost impossible.
That’s why it’s understandable that Kevin Garnett would just call everybody “Youngin,” since realizing rookies are younger than him is way easier than putting any thought to actual nickitynames. Plus, as it turns out, he actually has reasons for calling everyone the same thing and even a few real nicknames with real reasons behind them. From the AP:
Jared Sullinger is “Sully.”
Dionte Christmas is “Temple,” because that’s where he went to college.
And Kevin Garnett calls Fab Melo “Melo” because “I don’t like really calling a man ‘Fab.’ ” [...]
“My personal connection is a nickname. I’m not disrespecting people by not knowing their names,” Garnett said. “Some people don’t even talk to rookies.”
OK, fair enough. At least he recognizes that these guys are real people, even if he doesn’t go to the trouble of knowing their names. And I guess it is weird calling another man “Fab” if you are 12 years old and/or completely deny the existence of the Fab Five or the Beatles or the drummer from The Strokes, so all of this makes sense.
And really, so does this.
“Most of the time, it’s just ‘Young’un,’ ” Sullinger said. “Knowing that he’s an NBA dinosaur, you’ve got to understand that being a ‘young’un’ is a good thing.”
I can’t believe that I am actually on Kevin Garnett’s side on this “Calling everyone Youngin” thing, but there is a strong case to be made that since KG has played 17 seasons, calling everyone Youngin is both a compliment and the easiest thing to do. I’m sold and I can’t imagine him coming up with a nickname that would ruin that.
Sullinger and Melo were first-round draft picks, with Kris Joseph coming in the second round. (Garnett calls Joseph “Shawn,” Christmas said, “because he reminds him of someone named Shawn.”)
Well, I’m back to not getting Kevin Garnett’s nicknames. “Shawn” because some guy looks like someone named Shawn? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s super funny and maybe my favorite new nickname in the NBA, but that doesn’t mean it makes any sense.
Understanding what was going through Kevin Garnett’s head was fun while it lasted, but I think we all knew it couldn’t last. Don’t worry about it though, because it’s pretty obvious that Kris Joseph looks more like a “Greg” anyways."
Funny sh*t. He is the worst at nicknames.
Howl to you MTW.
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