I have developed a formula to determine the results of our games. It is 50% more effective than Hollinger's PER at preventing the person that designed it from sucking at life.

Timberwolves forces of WINNING... (+5 each)

Adelman
Love (last year)
Rubio
Kirilenko

...

Timberwolves forces of PLAYING SOLID, UNSPECTACULAR BASKETBALL... (+0)

Cunningham
Shved
Pekovic
Buddinger
Love (this year)

Timberwolves forces of CHOKING WHEN THE GAME IS ON THE LINE... (-1)

Ridnour
Barea
Derrick
Stiemsma
Porter

Timberwolves forces of HAVING NO ROLE IN THE GAME ITSELF BUT MANAGING TO EFF THINGS UP ANYWAY... (-3)
Kahn
Taylor

Add up the points of everyone involved in a given game. If someone is injured they don't count. Always subtract 6 for Kahn and Taylor.

If the team total is > 0, we will win the game. If the team total is less than zero, we will lose. If the team total is zero, flip a coin.

In other words, we have our best chance of winning at this stage if we play 3 on 5 (Rubio, AK, and Cunningham) and have Porter thrown out early in the game.

I've only seen the top teams play. There doesn't seem to be any slam dunk franchise players in this draft, but that's ok because we probably won't have a top 5 pick anyways. I'd love to get Russ Smith from Louisville in the 2nd round. Dude is entertaining as hell to watch. He's basically everything that we wish Malcolm Lee was, and without the season ending injuries every year.

wolfenstein wrote:
Hahahahahaha that's some funny stuff Wolfenstein, Howl to you.

HowthefudgeisRickyRubioplustwentythreepointsintwentynineminutesandJJfreakingBareahastheballonthelastpossession?

wolfenstein wrote:
The Wolves have a bad case of Terry Porteritis.

roundhouse wrote:
Ricky isn't back. The nature of the injury is ups and downs, which will likely continue the rest of the season

Glad I missed this one...

Seriously. Rubio and AK are who you want to have the ball at the end. If one of them can create a shot for last year's Love, all the better. Shved is my next choice followed by Barea. Shved will make his clutch shots if he gets a decent look. Barea is going 1 on 5 into traffic no matter what.

Yea I really don't understand that strategy for the last play of the game. The problem with giving it to Barea is that he loses the element of surprise that he uses to drive to hoop against unsuspecting defenders and/or uses his speed to get to the hoop before the defense has set up. One of 3 things is going to happen:

1. he drives and shoots
2. he drives and passes
3. he shoots a 3-pointer

The problem is that #1 and #3 are much more likely than #2, and it's the last play of the game, meaning no one is going to get caught off guard. Too many things can go wrong here and not that many things can go right.

The obvious (and much better) play would have been to get the ball in Ricky's hands and let him find the open man. We don't have any guys right now that deserve to be taking the last shot over anyone else, so you let Ricky find whoever has the best look.

roundhouse wrote:
I think there is one guy that's a franchise changing player. Ben McLemore. The kid is smoooth. Jesus Shuttlesworth smooth.

9Deuce wrote:
Yea, he will probably go top 3 though. I don't think the wolves will have that high of a pick. Also he's had a ton of off court problems:

-Got kicked out of Oak Hill Academy
-Got arrested for failing to show up to his court case
-Academically ineligible for his freshman year at Kansas

With that kind of track record, there is no way he qualifies as a sure thing, regardless of how good he's playing.

roundhouse wrote:
And NBADraft.net has him projected #1 overall right now...

This is not a very good draft I don't think, so we won't get much/any help.

Drafts like this (no consensus #1 pick) typically have more good players than one might think, and those players typically land in the 4-10 spots. I am reminded of the Brandon Roy draft, here.

But just remember Kahn is the one drafting,and he has already decided on Mason Plumlee.

Now, let's all resume pretending we are experts on the 2013 draft from skimming draft express and watching youtube highlights of breakaway dunks.

The Daddy went to the game vs. the Robertcats. Not an unexpected outcome, but Henderson’s shot was luckier than a Tim Duncan 3pter in the playoffs.

This current team with the worst coach in the league aside from Mike Dunlap (more on that below), 6 real players, 2 guys on ten day contracts, and Lou is not going to win. You shouldn’t expect them to. So fyck it, there were positives.

Ricky looked much more confident. He is the worst on ball defender on the wing right now (he moves like Kevin Love at the moment), but his instincts still make up for it on many possessions. He had 3 more points because I was right behind the hoop when he threw that alley-oop to Derrick Williams – it just went right in the hoop and Derrick Williams didn’t touch it (he actually goaltended it).

Luke Ridnour is the single greatest post defender alive. Has anyone ever taken advantage of a mismatch on him? I think I remember Kobe doing it once. Luke Ridnour is to post defense what Cliff Robinson was to the KG-stopper (ya’ll sleep on that, KG went 5 for 20 every game against him).

Great job showcasing yourself Derrick Williams, you asshole. Charlotte is a fine city, you’ll fit in here. Biyombo, Henderson, you’ll enjoy the Twin Cities. Don’t move to the suburbs, they suck. Live in St. Paul or Minneapolis.

Some guy at the trash ass Time Warner Arena (crowds worse behaved than a Wolves crowd) had on a Love jersey. He high fived me and I dead faced told him to get rid of that jersey and buy a Rubio one because Love will never play another second for the Wolves. He said, “fyck you guy!” and ran off. I couldn’t blame him. I need rehab. I am addicted to bashing Love and I don’t know why.

After 5 and a half minutes into the game, my roommate and I remarked that Mike Dunlap had already played NINE players. He literally subbed someone out at EVERY dead ball. The strangest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if he’s a good coach but that is the worst strategy ever. He should hang out with Terry Porter who also subs like a cocksucking asshole.

Because the players on the Wolves are such good guys, they fake it toward Porter. I was close enough to realize it, and it’s not good. He has no influence. There is no communication on defense anymore, despite his pleas. Barea just looks right through him. I hear Lord Adelman is back. If he started a religion I’d follow it, that’s how much I believe in Rick Adelman.

Terry Porter is so absent minded he neglected a fundamental part of organized basketball – ALWAYS leave a general on the floor. If, by chance there is no general on the floor, you have to pull a Doc Rivers and lead from the side, vocally barking and orchestrating. Who, praytell are the floor generals on this team? Rubio, occasionally AK, and sometimes Luke. Why then would you constantly have Rubio and AK on the bench together while Luke defers to Barea and some ten-dayers? That is laughable. Change your sub patterns so that one of them is out there MOST of the time. When they aren’t, get off your ass and reign Barea in you assclown.

Single best post I have read in a year.