From The Onion: Timberwolves Beat Writer Running Out Of Ways To Say 'Defeated By'
Rob Brittson, a Twin Cities sportswriter assigned to the Timberwolves beat, has had his stock of defeat-oriented phrases almost exhausted by Minnesota recording the NBA's second-worst record, Brittson told his fellow reporters Wednesday. "Well, Nets 92, T-Wolves 88—there goes 'Hunted To Extinction,'" said Brittson, crossing the phrase off a list that once included "Roadkill," "Defanged," "Wolf's Bane," and even "Pelted!" before the dismal season began to take its toll...
Stephen Litel/Hoopsworld asked some of the Wolves who aside from Gerald Green they thought could win the Slam Dunk contest:
"Well, since I can't pick Gerald, I'm going to have to go with Rudy Gay," said Jefferson. "Dwight Howard doesn't have a chance to win it because, regardless of what he does, he's still 6-11. He could jump over the backboard and he's still not going to win."
Green has promised some special stuff, and after watching him put together some absurd dunks in Minnesota's practice facility with the help of Rashad McCants and others, it's hard to imagine Green not executing at least one crazy dunk.
Example A: Last week, Mr. Green converted the most difficult and ridiculous dunk this pair of eyes has ever seen. First, he lined up on the baseline at the 3-point line. After surveying the ceiling, Green threw the ball off a column at least 40 feet in the air, sprinted to the middle of the floor as the ball bounced off diagonally, rose into the air, caught the ball with one hand and drove it through the hoop. Absolutely amazing.
The signs of progress came from nowhere after a what appeared to be a hopeless 5-34 start. Now, just as quickly, the young Timberwolves are back in the tank. They have lost five in a row heading into the All-Star break, the latest a 25-point thumping at the hands of the Los Angeles Lakers that showed just how much work is yet to be done.
"Try to forget the last couple games," guard Marko Jaric said when asked about what he planned on doing during with his time off. "Try to reset our minds. Try to comeback and win, simply."
"Each year it seems to get longer and longer (until the All-Star Break). They call it the halfway point but we're almost 60 percent through... The break will do us good. It comes at a good time for us. We just need to get that spark back after this break. We didn't have the belief that we could win this game tonight."